Barbell Voodoo

I’ll admit it. I have barbell voodoo.

Small rituals that, if performed correctly, I believe will lead me to new personal records in barbell lifts.

No, I don’t use chicken blood or goat milk or donkey hair.

That stuff makes the platforms slippery anyhow.

Instead, most of the rituals are simple — visualization, unweighted practice, always approaching the bar in the same manner, equidistant spacing on the grip, proper footwork, etc. In fact, so many of them are borrowed from Coach Burgener that we might just have to call him the Big Voodoo Daddy.

But I also have a few things that Coach B. doesn’t teach — like don’t step over my loaded bar. Walk around either end, but don’t shortcut over my bar, please.

Don’t leave anything on my platform. No weights, no shoes, no collars. This is my workspace. I keep it clean, please respect that.

Don’t distract me with small talk during my session, please. I may love you but I really don’t want to hear about your weekend, your husband, your shopping trip, or that great gal you spotted in the bar last night. Not right now. Here and now is for lifting heavy weight. Please help me to bring all my power and focus toward that task. Afterward, tell me everything.

Don’t sit on my barbell. Don’t balance on it. Don’t lean on it with your foot. I don’t. If I want to lift that weight, I must respect it.

Like I said, barbell voodoo. But it works, for me. And it saves the chickens.

What’s your barbell voodoo?

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10 comments
Eugi
Eugi

Ah! Love this post! For me, the feet must STOMP into position. I cannot place them there, shuffle them there, shift them there. I decide where they go and then - "stomp-stomp." If it's off, we need a redo. Other people say I look like an angry horse ready for a race. Kind of right on point...

Jennie Yundt
Jennie Yundt

I love this post! I have some barbell voodoo too. It involves something I lovingly refer to as "the bracelet of Power". it also involves a semi embarrassing ritual of getting my feet situated juuuust right before placing my hands on the bar. I've been told by my husband that this is very unflattering, and my hands look stupid while I'm concentrating on my feet. I just tell him to SHUT IT. Because I just set a new PR. And that's all that matters. :-)

Rockstar
Rockstar

Very true. It's hard to maximize the full potential of a lift when you have people yapping away. Like Derek would say, shut the fuck up and do work. This would make a room of better athletes.

Daigle
Daigle

I only lift at one end of the gym. Never use the black bars with the silver ends. Must have metal playing to achieve a PR. Visualize. Think about all the people who've really pissed me off over the years...get angry and aggressive. Lift.

donkey
donkey

i am very picky about WHICH barbell, and what part of the box. our floor is not perfectly even, and if there's even the slightest perceived slope, i'm a mess.

admin
admin

I hear ya, sister! And I will confess to a little bit of "jazz hands" at the back of the platform, right before the clog stomp. And don't even ask about the ritualistic rocking after a really dark metcon. Rainman, I am -- but it works for me.

admin
admin

Daigle, we were separated at birth.

admin
admin

LOL "Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves." Ya mean THAT Donkey?

donkey
donkey

and obtw--i don't take it personally about the donkey hair business :) but i am *also* picky about my hairstyle for any given lift. after too many times getting my hair wrapped around the bar in a back squat, i have learned that particular lesson.

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