I read these lines today, from a so-called “fitness buff”: “I’m a big believer in doing something different every time I work out, so it’s never the same. It’s usually super sets, interval training or high intensity interval training, but I can’t do CrossFit. I’m too old. It hurts me.”
Her age? Two years younger than me.
Too old. It hurts too much. Ow, Mommy, make the bad lady stop.
Oh wait. I AM the bad lady.
CrossFit is hard. It hurts. It should. I got a newsflash for everybody out there. Pay close attention. If CrossFit feels good and nice and wonderful, and makes you feel warm inside, like a smooth glass of damn good bourbon or a beautiful woman … THEN YOU’RE DOING IT FUCKING WRONG.
Remember? CrossFit, done correctly, is hard and it hurts. It’s SAFE, but it hurts. CrossFit should push you to places nobody in their right flippin’ mind wants to go. No well-adjusted person, at least. If you want to feel that much pain, I got another newsflash: There’s probably something wrong with you! If you like to hurt and torture yourself just because you like to feel pain, then you have issues. Go to a psych-something and talk about your feelings — you might be messed up!
But if you want to go to those dark places inside you (and there will be many — and we all have them) in order to come out the other side and be a stronger person — mentally and physically — then I got another newsflash: YOU FUCKING ROCK! And I want to spend time with you! I want to WOD with you (yup — I’m using that word as a verb — suck it, grammar Nazis!) and I want to hang out and drink watered-down beer out of metal cans with you. Grab some PBR and meet me at the pull-up bar!
The really good news? There’s a community full of people out there who are not happy with phrases like “I’m too old for this” or “This is too hard” or “I don’t want to do that.” They’ve decided that they will set the limits on life, and not let life or other people or some stupid hand-me-down lame-ass stereotype set the limits on them. These folks are some of the truest, best, most bad-ass mofos you’re going to find in this life and they’ve got a meeting place they go to all the fucking time — their CrossFit gym. If you’re lucky, you find them.
But don’t sit home and say “I’m too old. It hurts me.” No. You just don’t want to work that hard — and we can understand that. It’s okay to be a p****. But don’t blame it on your age or CrossFit. Put it on your own shoulders. Now, go lick yourself and have a bowl of warm milk.
(Flowchart by me and my red-headed boy.)