It seems every other blog or magazine has “motivational tips” this time of year: ways to keep you on the straight and narrow when all you want to do is curl up in some flannel pjs and eat mac cheese and pie while watching “Hoarders” or “Some Other Whacked People Show” until June or July.
The trouble with these tips? They’re usually bullshit. A bunch of feel-good words that you can’t remember ten minutes after you read them. They’re literary carbs — they taste good going down but don’t fully satisfy your hunger and — guess what? — now you’re a little sleepy too.
So, instead, we’re going to give you Five No-Bullshit Ways to Stay Motivated:
1.) Stop reading bullshit! If it sucks, put it down! Scroll by. Life’s too short to put crap between your ears.
2.) Keep fucking going! Go to the gym almost every day. Rest when you need to. You know that, so do it.
3.) Kick yourself in your own ass. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. “Waah waah waah. My life is hard. I’m so busy. I have so much to do.” Guess what? So does everybody else! And some people are doing their stuff with cancer or a couple of fewer limbs than you. Stop bellyaching and snap your own shit up!
4.) Don’t hang around with losers. We’ve been over this before: you are who you spend time with. Think about it.
5.) Expect more of yourself. I first heard Denise Thomas yelling this at a trainee in an L1 seminar. They were in the middle of some horrid WOD and the dude let his form slip and squatted like a dog laying a nasty pile in the backyard. “Expect more of yourself!” He fixed his form and pressed on. So should you.
Now, I could end this with some photos of flowers and some words about love and kindness, but a group hug and a round of Kumbaya aren’t going to help you stay off the couch and your ass. Daylight is burning, baby! Stop reading and go do. Now.
(Image courtesy of Nicole Bedard Photography.)