Do This, And Your Day Might Improve
This is going to sound stupid and sappy and ridiculous, but here it is: Whatever you face today, put more love into it. Things will most likely improve if you love more, not less. In almost every single situation you face today — whether it’s buying a cup of coffee, talking with your buddies, kicking your WOD, or dealing with your loved ones — put more love into whatever you’re doing.
Dumb, right? Fucking stupid. You’ve got your dreams and ambitions and your righteous anger! You’re ready to kick ass and bend this world to your will! If only you can get stronger and tougher, you can take everything that is yours. In this dirty world, the spoils belong to the victor and nice guys finish last. You do NOT want to finish last.
Or maybe, that’s not always correct. Maybe nice people do succeed because they are … nice. (Wait, what?) Maybe people want to help you if you’re nice. Maybe people want to love you if … yeah, get this … you love them. And maybe, just maybe, it is more rewarding to be loved than feared.
Craaaaazy. Oh, and probably true.
I tell my kids this one all the time: “People want to help you. Give them a reason to help you.” Politeness is a reason. Warmth is a reason. Respect is a reason.
Think about it. Haven’t you wanted to do something for someone simply because they made you smile? Or laugh? Or treated like you a human being, when the rest of the world didn’t seem to give a damn?
We all have. Because, despite our desire to make this world all about achievement and success and kicking ass, when we strip down our lives to the bare essentials we have this: survival, and how we feel. If people make us feel like crap, we don’t want to be around them much. If people make us feel good — important, or special, or just respected — then we want to spend more time with them. It’s really simple, when you think about it.
But, wait, who needs help? You’re a strong, independent beast! You don’t need anybody’s help!
Shut up. We all need help. Most of us are just too proud to admit it. If we didn’t need help, we’d all live apart from anyone else, single campfire after single campfire dotting the horizon for as far as the eye can see. But guess what? Facebook, your phone, your consumption of this post alone illustrates your desire for community. You already admitted your need, so just deal with it.
Now, some of you may be wondering how the heck this concept is going to help you in the gym. How does love translate to the barbell or the kettlebell or the pull-up bar? You can’t love the barbell. (Well, you could, but that’s just wrong, and possibly illegal in 14 states.) And nobody can love thrusters. But maybe, instead of hating and dreading thrusters, you can learn to love what they do for your body, how they make you stronger in body and mind.
Anyhow, whatever you’re struggling with today — a relationship, a work problem, even those damn double-unders — put more love into the situation. See what happens. Things just might get better …
I lost my beloved wife almost 10 months ago - she died by suicide as a result of depression due to stage IV cancer and the months of chemo treatment (which she hated) she had undergone for this. We have five kids, 6yrs-17yrs. She was an AMAZING person and a wonderful wife and mom, so the void left in all our lives is huge. Thankfully I chose transparency and being open with people about what happened, and throughout these subsequent months of grieving we have had overwhelming support and help given to us as a family. Our situation is extreme, but it's helped me to see how we all need help from others, and it won't happen without opening ourselves up to others and being honest. Very true words, and appreciated. As a severely double-under challenged CrossFitter, I don't know if I can ever love double-unders though. But I'll try. Thanks for that challenge.
Hmmm. I'm starting to get a little concerned about you. This is totally not like your normal post... "Put more love into the situation" j/k shared!
Oh wow, Daniel. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for telling your story, and trying to help others by doing so. Good luck with those double-unders. They don't like me much either, but I keep trying!