Rest Day Syndrome: The Silent Killer

Are you scared of Rest Day? Does your heart race and your palms sweat when you think about staying away from the gym? Do you spend hours on your day off cruising affiliate websites? Bingeing on YouTube? Looking in the windows, real or virtual? Wanting to do a workout, even when you know you shouldn’t?

Me too. Rest Day sounds so glorious when you’re on workout days. It sounds great the day before, the night before. You’re all excited to have a Rest Day, and then the day comes and … you hate it.

So, perplexed by my condition, and positive that I couldn’t be the only one who felt this way, I sought out the experts.

First, I went to the man himself, CrossFit Founder/CEO Greg Glassman. “Coach, what should I do? I’ve read the Rest Day articles, watched the videos, weighed and measured my meals for the next 7 days, and learned and played a new sport. Also, I took up the banjo. It’s 8am. What do I do for the rest of the day?” I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I do remember Castro waving his finger at me and then world went suddenly dark. I woke up on the firing range behind our office, but I quickly untied myself and headed back over the hill.

And I kept searching.

I called gymnastics guru Carl Paoli: “Rest Day?,” Carl said. “There’s no rest day for you until you get over your fear of walking on your hands, you big scaredy cat!” Mysteriously, our connection went bad and I had to hang up.

After that, I called the Master of the Snatch, Coach Burgener. As usual, he was tender and minced his words. “Rest Day? That’s the day God created for you to watch Olympic lifting videos!  Why are you wasting time, sister?” 

Still desperate for answers, I called self-defense expert Tony Blauer. He barked: “Are you holding your hands in SPEAR position? Outside 90! Fingers splayed!”  I dropped the phone. It didn’t work so well after that.

I knew there was only one person left who could help me: the World’s Fittest Man, Rich Froning. So, I hopped a plane to Tennessee and marched into his gym. “Hey Rich, when’s your next Rest Day? Tell me how you deal with time off?” Rich smiled and ruffled his own hair. All the clouds in the sky suddenly disappeared, the sun blinded us, and bluebirds flew in formation, whistling the most beautiful rendition ever of “Amazing Grace.”

“Rest Day?” said Rich. “I don’t do those.” And then we power cleaned. I set four PRs, and Julie Foucher appeared out of nowhere and finished second to me on “The Chief.”

And then I woke up … on Rest Day.

 

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