Are you living a life of quiet desperation?
Stop that shit.
All over the place, people talk about their unhappiness and then they also mention the ways they are often unknowingly sacrificing their happiness because they feel they have to. You hear words like:
- The kids come first
- The spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend comes first
- Saving for retirement
- And a thousand other reasons (“I can’t move” “I can’t get a different job” “I have to do this” and others)
It’s not that these are not important things (they are), it’s that something else always comes first. Always. And, at times, it feels somewhat like martyrs celebrating their own funeral pyres.
Now, I’m not telling them—or you—to be a selfish jackwagon. I’m not telling you to stop serving people.
I’m not even sure happiness works that way. In fact, I’m pretty sure that happiness is what shows up when you’re so busy getting shit done that you forgot to look for happiness. Boom! You turn around and happiness is sitting on the front porch swing, smiling and popping the top on a cool, refreshing beverage.
But what I am telling you is that if you’re living a life of quiet desperation, you can stop and change.
- You don’t have to be unhappy.
- You don’t have to live a life you don’t want to live.
Like I’ve said before, happiness is not given, happiness is chosen. And if you’re making the choice each day to live a life that you think you should be living instead of the real life you are meant to live, then maybe it’s time to make some changes, darling.
See, bullshit lives don’t simply fly away like errant pigeons in a parking lot. They don’t magically disappear or transform themselves through no effort of your own. Nope.
Sweat, tears, tons of work, numerous sleepless nights, and too many sorrow-filled dawns—that’s how bullshit lives are changed. But you have to make a decision first.
You have to decide that what you have is not enough for your heart, not enough for your life, not enough for your soul. That you’d rather go down swinging than put up with one more day of a life that smothers you with its emptiness and stuffs sand down your own throat.
It’s your unhappiness or you. Only one gets to win.
Nor is your life meant to be spent in the continual act of complaint. Your life is meant to be spent in joy! As a friend facing a major life decision said to me the other day, “I don’t want to be one of those people who sits and complains. I want to live.”
So you might have some decisions in front of you, but that doesn’t mean you have to get in the car and drive away from your life. But it does mean maybe you should check the map and rev your engine a little — because even small adjustments can make a big difference in your outlook.
Like Thoreau wrote all those years ago, “Those same stars twinkle over other fields than these.” Imagine yourself in those fields and under those stars. Feels good, right? Maybe you can find a way there. Tell me if you do — because I know how you feel and I’m always rooting for you.