"I don't care about intent. I care about effect."
Someone said this to me the other day, and it stayed with me. The basic truth here pertains to our efforts in the gym, to our interactions at work, and to our personal relationships with family, friends, and lovers.
How many times do we find ourselves staring at the wreckage of life and saying, "But I meant well" or "I really wanted that to go right"?
It doesn't matter what your intent was if you flipped the car. The results are still bruises and dents and scars and changed lives.
It doesn't matter that you didn't...Read more
1.) No matter what it is, it's probably too long. Look again with a cold, hard eye. Yes, you love your words, but some of them you should probably kill. Be brave ... and ruthless.
2.) Good titles count. Create a title that would make you click into the story. But remember this: cheese is costly. You can bait the reader a few times and then they'll walk around the trap. Be smart.
3.) Read it aloud before you publish. This is one of the best paths for detecting rhythm and flow. Skip this step and you might help your schedule and...Read more
Criticism is a scary thing. When someone corrects you, often you're thrown back into being five years old and Mom telling you that you did something wrong.
Despite your best efforts to listen to the instruction and learn, your ears get hot and shame tries to flood your system.
And that's when you need to shut that shit down.
Because if you spend your life reacting emotionally to criticism, you'll have a hard time improving. If you spend all your energy on how you feel, then there's not going to be much energy left to learn and improve.
If you can't listen, you can't...Read more
Lots of people give advice. But not every piece of advice is worth heeding.
The internet has been a wonderful boon to our education in all sorts of things, but a detriment in other regards. Everyone is a publisher now, and hence everyone is an "expert." It is difficult to wade through the barrage of guidance.
The next time you're faced with someone telling you what you should do, stop and consider:
1.) Does this advice make sense?
2.) Is this person a good source for advice?
3.) Does this advice really apply to what I'm seeking to do and the goals I...Read more
Somewhere, somebody is burning with jealousy. Complaining, seething, suffering. He doesn't have what he wants in life, so it's painful for him to look at others who do.
Don't be that person. (Don't fight with him either. Just walk away. Save your energy for the worthwhile battle.)
Somewhere, someone is stabbing with words and eviscerating with nouns. Her victim is standing right in front of her, hearing every word and taking them all inside. Cruelty has a human face and a human cost.
Don't be that bully. Instead, stand up to her. This is a fight worth fighting. Toni Morrison once said: "If you can...Read more
You only have so many days. So many hours, so many minutes, so many moments. All of us, even those who are in fabulous shape and will live to be 100 or more, have a finite number of breaths on this earth.
So, why do you squander your time? Why do you waste time on things and emotions and miscreants who will bring no good to this world?
Is it easier to do so? Is it less painful to waste time than to spend it wisely?
Yes. But it is not braver.
Be weak when you have to be. But be strong, if and...Read more
If we only show the beautiful parts of ourselves, we're only helping this world partway.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love seeing your beautiful selves. Keep that up. We all need to be inspired, and we need grace and beauty in our lives. But I want to see more. I think it's important.
The world improves when, in addition to showing beauty, we reveal some of the not-so-pretty parts of ourselves. Because this game -- in CrossFit and in life -- is comprised of the made lifts and the failures. (And we need to teach ourselves not to be frightened by...Read more