This is going to sound stupid and sappy and ridiculous, but here it is: Whatever you face today, put more love into it. Things will most likely improve if you love more, not less. In almost every single situation you face today — whether it’s buying a cup of coffee, talking with your buddies, kicking your workout, or dealing with your loved ones — put more love into whatever you’re doing.
Dumb, right? F***ing stupid. You’ve got your dreams and ambitions and your righteous anger! You’re ready to bend this world to your will! If only you can get stronger and tougher, you can take everything that is yours. In this dirty world, the spoils belong to the victor and nice guys finish last. You do NOT want to finish last.
Or maybe, that’s not always correct. Maybe nice people do succeed because they are … nice. (Wait, what?) Maybe people want to help you if you’re nice. Maybe people want to love you if … yeah, get this … you love them. And maybe, just maybe, it is more rewarding to be loved than feared.
Craaaaazy. Oh, and probably true.
I tell my kids this one all the time: “People want to help you. Give them a reason to help you.” Politeness is a reason. Warmth is a reason. Respect is a reason.
Think about it. Haven’t you wanted to do something for someone simply because they made you smile? Or laugh? Or treated like you a human being, when the rest of the world didn’t seem to give a damn?
We all have. Because, despite our desire to make this world all about achievement and success and kicking ass, when we strip down our lives to the bare essentials we have this: survival, and how we feel. If people make us feel like crap, we don’t want to be around them much. If people make us feel good — important, or special, or just respected — then we want to spend more time with them. It’s really simple, when you think about it.
But, wait, who needs help? You’re a strong, independent beast! You don’t need anybody’s help!
Shut up. We all need help. Most of us are just too proud to admit it. If we didn’t need help, we’d all live apart from anyone else, single campfire after single campfire dotting the horizon for as far as the eye can see. But guess what? Facebook, your phone, your consumption of this post alone illustrates your desire for community. You already admitted your need, so just deal with it.
Now, some of you may be wondering how the heck this concept is going to help you in the gym. How does love translate to the barbell or the kettlebell or the pull-up bar? Nobody can love thrusters. But maybe, instead of hating and dreading thrusters, you can learn to love what they do for your body, how they make you stronger in body and mind.
Anyhow, whatever you’re struggling with today — a relationship, a work problem, even those damn double-unders — put more love into the situation. See what happens. Things might get better.