Never apologize for tears.
No, really. Don’t apologize for crying.
Don’t sniffle and say “I’m sorry for crying” to your friends or your partner or your mom or your brother or even the clerk at the Safeway who is looking at you with a tilted head and asking, “Honey, are you okay?” as she slowly places the dish detergent into your reusable shopping bag. It’s just a moment. You are not the first person to cry in a supermarket, and you won’t be the last. At any given moment, there are probably five people in that store who are fighting back tears and another two on the verge of losing it altogether as they move among the bok choy and the broccoli. Life is not easy for any of us.
Tears are not something to regret. A showing of sadness does not need to be forgiven. Sadness is allowed, even necessary in a way that not many of us fully understand.
Perhaps this world would be better if we cried more, not less. Perhaps we would do more for each other if we felt more. (Don’t listen to those misguided fools who speak of the weakening of the world and urge you to “harden up.” This world, like you, needs to be tough at the right moments and soft at the right moments, but we can each figure that out for ourselves.)
So, abandon your penchant for apology when physical manifestation of your emotional vulnerability presents itself at inopportune moments. You are fine.
- You are not numb.
- You are not detached.
- You are not uncaring.
You are here, breathing fully and deeply and gloriously with a beating heart that aches and hurts and lives. Tears are simply proof that you still care.
Let the tears come, and let them go. Hold your head up. You got this.