10. If you drop an empty barbell, a kitten does not die. But the gym owner sees blazing technicolor red. (Don’t drop that empty BB.)
9. Working harder is okay, but working smarter is what you really want to do.
8. You’re probably taking more breaks than you need.
7. What you lift is more important than what you wear.
6. The last person to finish is usually pissed that they’re finishing last.
5. People who don’t like deadlifts are like people who don’t like dogs: probably not to be trusted.
4. If anyone in your class says, “This workout doesn’t look too bad” you are all so screwed. Death is near.
3. The “bro” ratio in your class is a likely equivalent to the douchiness level of your gym. Shop accordingly.
2. If anybody tells you to “harden the f*** up” you are more than justified in telling them to “shut the f*** up.”
1. What’s in your heart is infinitely more important than what’s on your barbell.