The Importance of Ass Kicking

I'm all peace, love and happiness until it's time to put a boot up somebody's ass.

I want everything to be worked out through peaceful means with courtesy and kindness. Want is the operative word. I work with politeness and aplomb towards this end. I really do want it.

But, as we have all learned at some point on this flawed but wonderful ride, peaceful coexistence is sometimes not possible. In a perfect world, it would be – but none of us live in perfect world. We live here now in this world. And this world is not full of paper tigers and so we must learn to do what we must to persevere and rise above. And sometimes rising above means not ignoring but actually putting a sudden stop to the perpetuating nonsense.

So, when the time comes for ass kicking in your life, be not afraid.

Make it clear to whoever is rattling your cage that you will not tolerate what those before you have tolerated.

You are not here to be demeaned or defiled or degraded. You are here to live a glorious life.

Make it clear and walk on.

The poet Nikki Giovanni wrote: "While I don't expect you to save the world I do think it's not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair and disrespect.”

So go ahead and remove those fools. (Do not mistake my words for advocating violence. I am simply advocating that you advocate for you.) But when acting in this manner, remember this: Ass kicking is not your goal or your friend or your way of life. It is a tool to be used as necessary with those who mistake you for a doormat or a dumping ground for old ghosts of abuse suffered at the hands of someone else. A tool of defense against a dark past and a dark night not of your volition.

Never forget this: you are not a doormat or a dumping ground.

You are you. A free and independent person trying to put love into the world and holding little tolerance for those who would dim your light.

As always, do not suffer fools gladly or allow the ill-intentioned to change who you are.

Yet do not seek confrontation.

• Give your warning shot.

• If someone then walks themselves into your open hand, let the sting happen.

• They will learn and so will you.

Kick ass only when you must and then return to the business of love as rapidly as possible.