5 to 1

"Studies have shown that it generally takes at least five kind comments to compensate for a single criticism."*

Yikes.  

Five to make up for one? Our human psyche is that fragile? Five kindnesses to overcome one unkindness. FIVE to 1.

Four people can tell you that your clean was awesome.

One person says it sucks and now you think your clean sucks.

Four people tell you that your baby is cute and you think your baby is cute. One person says your baby is ugly and you think your baby is ugly.

Well, maybe your baby is ugly.

Seriously, though, what's this mean?

That everybody has an opinion. EVERYBODY.

And those opinions can really affect you.But maybe we should look at this a little differently.

Just because folks foist their ideas on you doesn't mean you have to take them.

Maybe, sometimes, you should stop listening.

Why?

• Because when you get angry, the haters win.

• When you believe bullshit, the haters win.

• When you doubt your own greatness because idiots breathe and walk the earth, then congrats you just screwed yourself.

The solution?

Get tougher sometimes, and get more selective too.

If you've surrounded yourself with a bunch of whiners and complainers, get rid of them. Dropkick the Negativity Posse. Stop listening to morons. Buck up and ride solo if you've only got crappy companions. You'll find good people soon enough.

What you surround yourself with is exactly what you get.

Hang with problems, have problems.

Darkness breeds darkness. Light breeds light.

You decide whether you want to stay in hell or whether you want to rise above.

I've said this before but I'm going to say it again: You wouldn't eat garbage, so why put garbage in your head?

Now, this doesn't mean to be Mary Sunshine Pants and never look at your own faults and correct them.

Of course, you should evaluate valid critiques and seek to improve upon that which needs improvement. But toughen up a bit where you need it in your mind.

I'm not a big fan of the HTFU (Harden the F*** Up) movement. I don't want to be "hard"—that word conjures up images of prison and cigarettes and bad teeth. But I do want to be tough and kind and not some Debbie Doormat that gets walked all over.

Be tough on yourself when the critique is accurate.

But, remember also to toss the garbage—in your nutrition, in your habits, in your life. 

It's only 5-to-1 if the 5 sticks. 

Your brain determines where you go. Take yourself to the right places.